Choosing your wedding party shouldn’t be difficult, but it is.
Have they seen you naked?
Seriously, has the person you’re thinking to be by your side all day seen you naked or nearly naked? I’m just asking because there’s a good chance that they are going to see you in your birthday suit while you’re changing into your wedding day duds. Also, depending on how difficult it is to get into whatever you’re wearing they might have to help you get into it. When choosing your wedding party you need to think about so many things.
When’s the last time you saw them or had a long conversation with them?
I had a wedding where I found out at the end of the night that one of the bridesmaids was only there because the person getting married had told them that they would be part of their wedding party when they were in high school. I found out a few years later that a particular bridesmaid never talked to the bride again. Who want’s that? The people that stand by your side when you’re getting married should be people that you have a deep connection with and that you see or talk to more than once a year.
Are they going to be there for you or for themselves?
We all have that one friend that’s a little bit more selfish than selfless. A wedding can be a little bit of work and you need people that are going to be there for you. Also, there’s more than just the wedding, there’s the Bach Party and the Wedding Shower to think of, are they going to help plan and organize those? If you think that they might not have their whole heart in it think about maybe not extending them an invite.
Your Person of Honor can be a really big deal.
When’s the last time your bestie watched you pee? You might think that’s an odd question, but depending if you’re wearing a dress and the fluffiness of it they might have to hold it for you. When’s the last time they crawled on the ground and look at your butt? Another odd question, but bustles are a necessary pain in the ass and if done well they can take a little bit of time and patience and crawl around on the ground. Do you think they’ll mind running around and carrying your dress and veil during pictures? That whole person of honor job can be a tough one, do you think they’re up for it?
Choosing Your Wedding Party Should and Shouldn’t Be Difficult.
You can ask yourself some of the following questions. Do they love you at your best and at your worst? Have they seen you through some tough times? Are they composed in tough situations? Do they think quickly on their feet? Would they help you bury a body? The last probably be necessary, but you get the gist of where I’m going. When choosing your wedding party you should really think about who you’re having at your side on a really fun, but stressful day. Don’t just choose someone to be an attendant to have someone there. The saying of quality over quantity really is true.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen are great, but what about Wedding Party Attendants.
To try to be inclusive as possible I couldn’t title this how to choose your bridesmaid or groomsmen. The more inclusive way to say it is Wedding Party Attendants. I also like The Marrier’s (or the person’s name) attendants, because yeah they’ll kind of be attending to you. Also, with so many people getting married and having mixed-gender wedding parties on both sides it just seems easier. If you’re looking to learn more about gender-neutral wedding terms here’s an article on a fabulous wedding blog called Equally Wed click here.
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A little bit more about Trista, who wrote the above article.
Trista is the founder and owner of Trista Maja Photography, a company that embraces inclusivity, diversity, nontraditional weddings, and couples that like to have fun.
I’m part of the LGBTQAI+ community and hope that all LGBTQAI+ couples find wedding professionals that love and embrace them as much as I do.
Fun Fact, I had my first piece of sushi at age three, now that seems normal, but I was three in 1981. In 1981 you couldn’t get sushi at 7-11. That started a lifelong love affair with Sashimi, Nigiri, and Sushi, I’ve even made my own at home.